Today I thought I’d take a moment to make another point on the importance of having the right mindset in your job search. Job seekers who are out there networking and making their efforts known are on on the receiving end of a lot of advice and leads. The quality of this information is often prematurely judged by the job seeker. In basic terms, the individual has a punctuation malfunction. Let me show you.

What do they know. They’re telling me ABC Company is hiring, but I applied there several months ago and never heard back.

What do they know. I search internet job boards for my field and there is nothing.

What do they know. I tried that approach and it bombed.

Notice above how I ended “what do they know” with a period. It’s so easy for a job seeker to do this. You hear information that sounds hollow or like something you already knew or tried and immediately mentally discount it as useless. What’s worse is when that judgment doesn’t remain in your mind, but is actually shared with the person attempting to pass on a valuable connection or nugget to you. It’s like there is a driving need to make it clear to that enthusiastic sharer of solutions they are wrong, two steps behind you or not really in a position to understand your situation.

With the period at the end of the sentence, conversation breaks down. By assuming the contact has nothing new or valuable to share, there is nothing to move the discussion forward in a positive way. Correct this punctuation malfunction and see where it takes you. Let me show you.

What do they know? They’re telling me ABC Company is hiring, but I applied there several months ago and never heard back. Do they have a contact on the inside? Do they have more information on what the company is looking for? Have they seen a recent posting or been asked to help refer people to the job?

What do they know? I search internet job boards for my field and there is nothing. Where are they seeing jobs? What resources do they know of that I may not? Who are they talking to giving them information jobs exist I haven’t seen?

What do they know? I tried that approach and it bombed. What did I do wrong? What contributed to others having success with that strategy? Did this person manage to make it work for him?

Can you see the difference a simple question mark can make in terms of mindset? Imagine the wealth of information you’ll have the potential to grab when your mind is tuned into wondering what that person knows you may not.

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Job seekers can find themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to follow-up with potential employers. By not keeping in touch enough, one risks appearing unmotivated,  yet calling too much takes on a stalker feel. Where is the balance? What’s the right answer?

The simple truth is no “expert” can give you the real answer. The only person who can tell you the best way to follow-up with a potential employer, and how often, is the employer himself. So many fail to ask hiring managers when they have their attention what their preferences and expectations are. Job seekers should make a point to raise the question of ideal ways to keep in touch before hanging up from a phone call or stepping out of an interview room. Trying to get the information through voice mail and email pleas after the fact is rarely effective.

On the other side of the coin, there are those who do ask for input, but fail to honor the established plan once they find the employer unresponsive. The employer said in the interview connecting every other week was reasonable, the candidate left a voice mail on time, the employer didn’t reply, so the candidate starts pummeling the hiring manager with frequent calls asking for follow-up and pointing out that person is dropping the ball. Not the best way to win brownie points.

As with other posts on the topic, I’m going to take a moment to be blunt. In my mind I can hear job seekers grumbling about how companies bring this on themselves by not offering good follow-up or not living up to predetermined plans. I get that, but they are no different than the rest of us. It’s tough to hear, but if follow-up with you is poor you probably aren’t a priority for that person at the moment. Either you aren’t the top contender or the actual position ranks below other demanding issues requiring that person’s attention. That’s not a dig on employers or on job seekers, that’s just reality. So the decision needs to be made, do you hound employers to the point you eventually get the rejection you’ve essentially forced them to deliver, or do you roll with it, consider why you aren’t their priority and who else might have a more urgent need or greater interest in what you do?

I vote for the latter. Hands down. Becoming obsessed with wringing follow-up out of decision makers serves no purpose. Determine the expectations up front. Honor those expectations by your actions. Accept the fact if you made a stellar impression and are a top contender you’ll be remembered for however long it takes companies to sort things out on their end. Realize if you didn’t make a stellar impression a voice mail inbox full of “you haven’t returned my call yet” isn’t going to inspire a change of opinion.

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It’s wise for job seekers to take the word can’t and toss it in the trash. No worries, this isn’t a post about all things being possible. I’m a realist who fully appreciates limitations. Limitations are part of the human condition. They aren’t mental fabrications. Do some people put more limitations on themselves than need be? Of course, but that’s a conversation for another day. The focus today is use of the word can’t in conversations with potential employers and networking contacts and the effect it can have.

It’s been my experience potential employers respond more favorably to positive solutions-oriented people. Job seekers who highlight what they can’t do by speaking to limitations directly are much more likely to come off as negative or problem focused. The word can’t is a repellent to those wanting to hear about possible gains from having you on board versus focusing on the compromises or sacrifices.

Some who read my post “It’s Like Asking For Directions” are probably thinking, wait a minute, you told us to be honest about our limitations. True, but you’ll notice I did so by talking more about what would work versus what wouldn’t. I’ll give some examples of what I mean. Consider your own reaction to each.

I can’t work overtime or on weekends.  vs  I am consistently available to work Monday thru Friday from 8 to 5.

I can’t take a job for less than $15/hr.  vs  I am able to consider positions at $15/hr and above.

I can’t work too far from my home.  vs  Opportunities in (name cities/areas of town) are ideal.

I can’t be on my feet all day.  vs  I’m best suited for opportunities where I am able to sit more than stand.

Do you see the difference taking the word can’t out of the equation makes in the overall tone of the message?  The information is still the same, but it is delivered in a way that speaks to what’s doable versus what is not. Presenting with a can-do attitude can be as simple as cleaning up the bad habit of approaching conversations with employers from the wrong direction.

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Ever get a form letter in the mail from a company attempting to market to you? Silly question. If your mailbox looks like mine, it’s a daily occurrence. I’m not sure which I dislike more, those beginning “Dear Sir or Madame” or those with my name digitally inserted in key places by a computer data base to make them seem more personal. No matter, any with a “we’ve sent the same letter to everyone turning oxygen into CO2″ feel end up immediately in my recycling bin. I can’t think of one generic solicitation that’s ever grabbed my attention and inspired me to pick up the phone or break out my credit card. How about you?

Considering that, why do job seekers use form letters when approaching companies? Impersonal cover letters and resumes have the exact same feel to them as most of the mail you likely toss. Do you expect decision makers in companies to respond differently than you would?

I personally believe there isn’t a big mystery when it comes to appealing to employers. So many make it harder than it needs to be. For all intents and purposes, approaching companies in a way you’d want to be approached is a pretty good bet. Simply put, if it would turn you off to be on the receiving end of your job search efforts, it’s a safe bet the decision maker you are pursuing would be too.

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If you had the challenge to list all of the professions/job titles you could think of, how many do you think that would be? Hard to say. I’m guessing all of us would fall far short of the actual number of job variations that exist in our community, let alone society as a whole. In many ways our scope of what there is in this world to do is somewhat narrow.

This point became clear to me when talking with my four year old daughter in the car this morning. She’s already starting to think about what she wants to be when she grows up. So far cashier, ballerina, rock star and zoo keeper are high on her list. When I was young I wanted to be a lawyer, cruise director, actress or doctor. All of the above are professions the general population recognize and are somewhat familiar with. What about other jobs though? How many times have you heard a child say, “I want to be a citrus fruit colorer?” I’m guessing never. Yet somebody has that job. Considering how many fruits in our stores have had their color enhanced, the profession is likely a busy one.

Since a child’s understanding of the world and all it has to offer is largely modeled after our own, is it possible as adults we have a narrow view of all the potential opportunities we could chase? Consider the fact, aside from natural occurrences, everything that happens around us has a person connected to the process, many times in the form of a job. Turn your eyes on and allow yourself to wonder what happens behind the scenes of the events, products, services and objects you encounter. You may be surprised what ideas you come up with and the awareness of options you achieve.

Though the dozen or so jobs we are all more familiar with may seem like they are in short supply these days, or even non existent, the same may not be true of jobs we’ve never really paid attention to. Because we’ve been oblivious, we’ve completely compromised our ability to find them and consider how our backgrounds and interests might make them a good option. You can’t find what you aren’t looking for. There will be needs and jobs in society so long as mankind exists. Rest assured of that.

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I love to network and meet people. I learned as a third party recruiter (a.k.a. – headhunter) of accountants the importance of networking. For recruiters, meeting people and getting your name out there is key. When an active recruiter, friends often spied me at different events passing out business cards and jockeying for speaking opportunities. Many times the events had nothing to do with accountants. For example, I participated in a group that catered to technical writers. Why did I do this? You’d be amazed how many technical writers interact regularly with accounting and finance professionals. So often it wasn’t the initial contact I ended up working with, but his friend, spouse, cousin or coworker. The results I got networking my way to accounting and finance pros through technical writers were much better than when I attended, say, local CPA events where every financial recruiter in town was present.

Though I’m not an active recruiter at the moment, I still network heavily. These days I’m using every free moment I have to help unemployed professionals get back to work. When I speak to groups of job seekers I always try to drive home the importance of networking to find employment. Too often I find individuals who believe it is a waste of time to circulate with those who are not hiring managers while on a job hunt. Some have shown disappointed when I revealed I primarily worked with accountants in the past. You can see it on the faces of the non-accountants in the room… “great, this is going to be a complete waste of my time.” Never mind the wealth of contacts I have from various walks of life and professions. In order to effectively network myself to place accountants in companies, I had to build relationships with CEOs, CFOs, Controllers, Human Resource Managers, Office Managers, IT Managers, etc. Don’t you suppose a fair number of job seekers could benefit from those contacts even if their backgrounds have nothing to do with accounting?

It’s so easy to write people off based on general assumptions of what they may or may not be able to do for you. It is equally tempting to chase relationships with people you feel will directly benefit you and overlook the fact others may be able to offer more help indirectly than some are able to extend directly. I try to impress upon people you should view others as a scratch off lottery ticket. It’s impossible to tell if the ticket holds a prize if you don’t take time to grab a quarter and remove the layers that hide the answer. Passing up an opportunity to get to know someone new based on an assumption they couldn’t possibly be of any benefit is just like throwing away a scratch lottery ticket before scraping away the gray matter.

By the way, for those of you who followed me on another blog, this post is a rewrite on a piece I wrote several years ago. If it sounds familiar, that’s why.

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Those who know me in real life are aware I get pretty prickly over negative assumptions some still make about the unemployed. I read comments in media outlets that drive me mad.

“I feel for the unemployed and I know it’s tough, but if they budgeted better, stopped smoking and watched less Oprah they wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

As irritated as I am at people who make these types of statements, I blame the unemployed for these assumptions even existing. Too many displaced workers are invisible. They are working away in seclusion, doing what they can to secure employment so they can emerge formally attached to some corporate enterprise. Guess what, if the rest of the community doesn’t see active, intelligent, motivated, professional job seekers circulating in every public forum possible there isn’t anything to combat the common belief those who are unemployed, especially for longer periods of time, are unskilled and more willing to live off of the charity of others than to expend any amount of energy on finding a job.

I know first hand the quality and drive of many unemployed individuals in my area. I seek the unemployed out and do what I can to get to know them well, so I know the assumptions are bunk. Me knowing this isn’t good enough though. The rest of the population is too busy with life to seek you out. That means job seekers must surface. They must put a true face on unemployment in 2010 and they must be out there equally, if not more so, than the working. Once people cross paths with motivated and talented job seekers I’m convinced they’ll be less likely to lump all of the unemployed into the “sitting on the couch eating Ruffles” category.

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Anyone else listen to Car Talk on NPR? I’m a huge fan. I don’t have a nickel’s worth of interest in how to fix an engine or what indicates this belt or that fluid may need to be replaced. That said, I can’t seem to turn the dial when I stumble upon Tom and Ray’s radio show. The subject matter isn’t a bell ringer for me, but the way the hosts engage the callers, share their knowledge in unpredictable ways, incorporate humor into the seemingly humorless and manage to make the audience, doing who knows what/who knows where, want to hear all they have to say on a subject they may care nothing about is amazing. To top that off, for someone who believes she doesn’t care a lick about car mechanics, over time I’ve come to learn a reasonable amount about the goings on under the hood. My mind was distracted enough by the appealing delivery to soak up the information freely, versus shutting out what I may have normally judged as boring, irrelevant to me or over my head.

Imagine, job seekers, the power you would have in your search efforts if you had masses of people drawn to you, wanting to hear you out, wanting to be a part of your efforts no matter their interest in your actual profession, subconsciously soaking up your information so they might apply it to the circumstances they encounter when you aren’t around.

What does it take to attract people the way Tom and Ray do? A big chunk of it is natural talent. I’m not going to minimize their success by painting their accomplishments as easy to replicate. I will say there are a few things about those two you will notice when you take time to listen.

• They always engage the person they are talking with before showering them with knowledge.
• They speak in terms that are easy to relate to. They recognize credibility doesn’t come from speaking over the heads of others, but from teaching a person new things on their level.
• They care about how interesting they are to others, not just about how interesting they are to themselves.
• They aren’t overly serious. They take what they do seriously and they are seriously good at what they do, but they don’t showcase either with a serious disposition.
• They surprise you. The predictable is woven in with the unexpected.
• They show their personalities in a genuine way.

All of the above are elements I try to incorporate into my interactions with others. It’s been a work in progress for me to get to a point where I’m more aware of the person on the other side of my words than I am of myself. Those who know me in real life will tell you I’m a talker and, though I’m conservative, I’m far from bashful. It would be easy for me to take over conversations and drown those around me in my knowledge of subjects without concern for how interesting I am, what others really want to hear about and what may be going on in the lives of those I’m slathering with my bountiful morsels of information. Because I know this about myself, and because I appreciate the style of Ray and Tom, it’s easier for me now to find my pause button in conversations. I’m more focused on finding ways to achieve an entertaining and meaningful discussion versus an intelligent lecture. I hope Tom and Ray would be proud.

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Job seekers spend too much time complaining about the things that slow hiring processes down and not enough time focusing on what speeds them up. Sure, companies may have internal limitations applying the brakes at times, but what motivates decision makers to conquer those limitations sooner than later? I’ll tell you what doesn’t, a candidate who appears to have no other options and who is likely to languish for as long as it takes them to get their ducks in a row.

It comes down to demand. Employers are just like the rest of us when it comes to shopping. They make quicker decisions when they have the sense taking too long will cause them to miss out on something special. Think of the Black Friday sales after Thanksgiving. Ever watch buyers shoving expensive merchandise in their carts without much scrutiny? Do you think they’d move as quickly if there weren’t 400 hundred fellow shoppers waving credit cards and elbowing the less fit out of the way? Probably not. If they had all the time in the world and the price would likely go down the longer they waited, what reason would there be to rush? Unless there was a strong, immediate need for the item, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to put off making the purchase and, perhaps, explore what other options might be available.

So, job seekers must do what they can to give employers the sense they aren’t the only one in the store. How do you do that? It starts with the tone set at the very beginning. Ideally, you’ve networked yourself to a position and created a nice buzz around you that reached the employer’s desk ahead of your resume. It’s a safe assumption if your buzz reached them, it’s reaching other decision makers too.

Buzz aside, how you handle the “we’d like to schedule a time for you to interview” call can make a big difference. I cringe every time a job seeker tells me, “pick a time that works for you…my schedule is wide open.” It’s great to be accommodating, but having a wide open schedule screams, “take your time…nobody wants me!” When a potential employer asks what days and times would work for interviews for you, give them options, noting times your schedule is full. Leave them wondering with what. For example, “Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday morning work well. The afternoons, as well as Thursday, are full. I may be able to move some meetings and appointments around to suit your schedule, however.” It’s subtle, but changing how you deal with setting an interview time can make a big difference. Now, if your schedule really is wide open, that’s another problem for you to fix. Fill it with something. Whether it’s networking, trainings, seminars, informational interviews or volunteer work doesn’t matter. Doing nothing will get you nothing.

Another way to create a sense of demand around you is to insert discreet references to other opportunities through the course of the interview. One example, “Companies I’m meeting with are talking a lot about how they want to incorporate social media into their business model. If that’s true for you, I can share what I’ve learned of the various social media applications in past positions and through my job search.” Another example, “Technology upgrades seem to be on the agenda of many I’m meeting with. If it would benefit you, I’d be happy to share my experience with software conversions.” These types of references allow you to highlight marketable skills while also hinting the employer is hardly your only option.

At the end of the interview, after you’ve had your chance to ask strategic questions, I personally think it’s wise to close with a solid statement of interest in the position that also reinforces potential competition for what you have to offer. “Thank you for the time you gave today. After taking in all of the information, your position is definitely in the top 3 of what I’m currently considering. What potentially makes this my top choice is (insert). My interest in the job is high and I’d enjoy the opportunity to continue in the process.” It doesn’t matter to me if the other two opportunities you are considering at the moment are mopping bathroom floors and weeding flower beds. The point is, the job you are considering at that moment is at or near the top of your list and it’s a good move, in my opinion, to make that known in a way that doesn’t sound like that employer is winning by default.

Do what you can to give employers the sense you are in demand. It really can speed things up. I once had a job seeker push back with, “maybe the company won’t think I need their job as bad as someone else does if I have other options.” Not true. You want to know which candidates I’ve found to get the fastest offers? Those who already have offers from other companies and are giving their top choice a chance to throw an offer in the hat as well. It’s my personal experience, especially when we are talking jobs that pay more than minimum wage, companies rarely hire based on the job seeker’s needs. I might take on someone to clean my house based on his need of a job, but I’m not going to make a decision involving a $50,000 salary commitment that way.

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Pretend you are in a city you’ve never been to before and you are hungry. You need to find a way to eat that isn’t too expensive. You’ve got $20 in your pocket to work with. On top of that, you are strict vegetarian. Along comes someone who seems to know the area. He’s confident, waves to those he passes in a knowing way and is sure of his surroundings. Seems like a logical person to approach for advice.

When approaching this person who is likely to have some helpful knowledge, what do you say? Let’s imagine some options.

You: Excuse me sir, I’m hungry and would like a tofu & veggie pasta salad, extra spicy, if you will. Bland food bores me. I need flavor. Perhaps a melon salad on the side. The last time I had a pasta salad it wasn’t quite enough. It left me wanting a bit more, so you can see a melon salad is in order. Yes, that sounds perfect. Some green iced tea would go nicely as a beverage. Do you happen to have any of that on you? I can give you $20.

Him: Sorry, I can’t help you. I’m not a restaurant. Now, if you’ll excuse me…

Gee, that didn’t go well at all. You were very specific with what you wanted and what you had to give in return. You made a common mistake, however, of approaching him as a solution to your problems versus as a bridge to your solution. That information simply wasn’t appropriate for what you needed from him. As a result, you gained nothing and irritated someone who may have been a great resource in the process. Shall we try again?

You: Excuse me sir, can you direct me to a nearby restaurant?

Him: Absolutely! Bob’s Rib Shack is 3 blocks down on your right.

Well, his recommendation was somewhat helpful. It’s a restaurant. A rib shack isn’t the most promising place to encounter vegetarian options. You didn’t bog him down with unnecessary information, but you may not have given him enough specifics to truly help you. Let’s try again.

You: Excuse me sir, I’m a vegetarian looking for a good place to have dinner. Are you aware of any places I might want to check out?

Him: Absolutely! Gwenyth Paltrow just opened a divine Vegan Bistro 3 blocks down on your right.

Okay, so he’s at least pointed you towards a restaurant likely to have food options you can eat. Your limited funds might be a problem. A bistro opened by a celebrity hardly screams affordable. We’re getting closer. How about another go?

You: Excuse me sir, I’m a vegetarian with $20 in my pocket looking for a good place to have dinner. Are you aware of any places I might want to check out?

Him: Absolutely! Mama Bear’s is 3 blocks down on your right. They’ve got several vegetarian options at reasonable prices.

Success! You finally provided enough information, without going overboard, for him to help you. You were specific without boxing yourself into a corner.

Okay, you can stop pretending now. The above reminds me a lot of what job seekers tend to do when networking. Then they lament over how networking doesn’t do the trick for them. Look at the approaches that failed or were less than successful. The first example is what I see most often. They make a good case of what they are looking for in a job and what they have to offer, but they do it as if that contact is the one with the potential to hire them. More often than not that person is going to be a bridge to someone else who may be hiring. Change the message. Change the approach.

Those who realize the person they are networking with may not be their direct solution do much better. The problem is, many are often too vague to get good results. The reasoning I hear most often is that people want to be flexible and not introduce limitations into the networking process. They are missing the boat. If there genuinely are limitations in what you can consider, what you qualify to do, then it is silly not to make them known. What is the harm in missing out on  hearing about things that aren’t in any way a fit?

I hope this little exercise helps you think about how you approach people for help with your search. What are you saying to those who seem to know the lay of the land better than you? What questions are you asking?

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